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You’ve probably seen far more MINIs on the road in recent years than you think were someone ever to ask you the question. Thing is, unless you catch it coming head on and you spot the signature front with round headlights, from the side or even the rear, they essentially look like most other compact cars.
To a MINIac, or an enthusiast, I speak only lies as MINIs still retain a distinctive look. One is so “special” that no one is interested in buying it, but I digress. The current Clubman ditched the signature passenger-side short suicide door in favour of conventional rear doors but retained the rear dual barn doors. From near or far, it’s difficult to make it out over the Cooper 5-door unless you concentrate on the rear’s profile – the Clubman’s being more upright.
There should only be one JCW
In my mind, the Clubman may be dead but the fact of the matter is that, as is, it’s far user-friendlier. The proof is that I was able to use the car as a mode of transportation for the family, the key being easy access to the rear bench for baby. Getting to drive a John Cooper Works version of any MINI was once met with a cracking smile and excitement but truth be told, anything other than a 3-door Cooper JCW always lets me down.
The worst offender was the Countryman JCW with autobox I reviewed a few years back. Slow, heavy, cumbersome, all adjectives I would never have associated with a Cooper Works popped in my mind within minutes of driving. Back then, a turbocharged 1.6-litre engine powered the cars. Thankfully, things have changed.
Are you asking yourself if it’s for the better? Yes, and no. Weight is the enemy; nearly always is. It’s bad for your joints, it’s also really rough on accelerating, stopping, and carving apexes. Remember, we are talking about a real John Cooper Works modified MINI.
More power!
New engines come with the latest generation of MINIs and one is the turbocharged 2,0-litre 4-cylinder. On paper, for the JCW, it puts out 228 horsepower, which is a commendable amount. The torque figure sits at 258 lbs. Other important specs include the fact that 100% of the torque is on tap from 1,450 rpm all the way to 4,500. Horsepower is full on from 5,000 rpm to 6,000 rpm. Generally speaking, this means max full on, lull-less acceleration to near redline. This happens exactly as described except but the engine’s burden is so great that I could barely feel it.
More precisely, in Sport mode (one of 3 including Normal and Eco), I recognized the swell of torque at low engine speeds but somewhere over the 4k mark, the oomph was gone.
More weight…
Every time I’d launch myself onto an on ramp, or pull a passing manoeuvre, all I could hear was Scotty’s voice in my mind: “I’m givin’ her all she’s got Cap’n!” Before attempting to blame the 8-speed automatic transmission, know that it is brilliant, better than the majority I’ve experienced in Japanese performance cars for example. It’ll upshift briskly and efficiently, downshift with rev-matching and in the blink of an eye – it’s so good it makes a case for itself over the 6-speed manual, but I wouldn’t think of it.
The problem is weight, lots and lots of it. This portly MINI tips (or crushes) the scale at 1,565 kg, which is roughly equal to a Toyota RAV4. Let’s put this into context. A Volkswagen Golf R weighs in at 1,515 kg with the automatic DSG transmission. Remember, it sports 292 horsepower and 280 lb.-ft. of torque and also, they’re about the same price in the low $40k range.
Not fast enough
So no, the Clubman JCW isn’t as fast as it should be. It’s more of the same when it comes to handling. Turn-in, a MINI staple, a defining MINI characteristic, is muffled by transferring weight and a far longer wheelbase. Sure, in Sport mode, the suspension can be configured to “go-kart” but less than perfect roads create a nearly intolerable jitter. Best to leave the setting for track use only. In the normal setting, the dampers do a great job at maintaining stability and comfort.
The brakes are too affected by the excess girth. Pedal response is good but more pressure from the driver is necessary to extract the maximum amount of stopping power from the binders and pads. If we go back to steering for a moment, it remains intuitive and sharp. I may seem like I’m repeating myself but this electric steering system is identical to that of the Cooper 3-door that is roughly 360 kg lighter…
Entering the Club
Indoors, the Clubman is all MINI. Here, if you don’t like what you see, then a MINI’s definitely not for you. Of all the things going on, I’d like to point out that the tachometer should be located in the larger of the two gauges because this is a JCW after all. Everything else is just MINI…
Included with the JCW package are the superb sport seats with integrated headrests, John Cooper Works ALL4 doorsill finishers, anthracite roof liner and a sweet fatty JCW steering wheel. The cabin offers decent overall interior volume, thanks to the extended wheelbase and all manners of technology and connectivity are available.
After reading this, you’ll have to ask yourself a number of questions. The first is how much do you absolutely love the Clubman? If it’s a MINI JCW you want, here’s how I see it: Want ALL4 AWD in a MINI? Go for the Countryman and expect only to be the coolest and quickest compact CUV around. Want a genuine JCW? Get the 3-door with a 6-speed manual box and be prepared to truly love and appreciate what John Newton Cooper was all about.
